but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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