i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Shame is for Republicans.
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