Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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