His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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