I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After last night, I could never be a politician.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
