I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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