he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
