Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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