I just made out with a guy for $7.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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