There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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