So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
