as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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