So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
