he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure