Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT