the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German