I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've blown a few things in my day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.