I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.