I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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