Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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