My room smells like vodka and shame
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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