What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
