it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
