that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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