I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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