yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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