I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i will never coherently bang her
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
