She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
