so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
