just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
