If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
