so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
