dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
