Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
