my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
