Do you still have your period?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
