I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
