At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
