I CAN MOONWALK!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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