Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
