just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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