you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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