I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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