I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
