I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
