she woke up with a sticky ear
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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