idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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