Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
