Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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