got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
