You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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