i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
