I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
