I hate your face
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
