Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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