and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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