She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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