Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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