Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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