Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
