in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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