Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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