i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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