Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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